Monday, February 25, 2008

NOTHING TO BLOG

I must have one sucky, boring life. I don't have anything to blog about. Linda called me today and said that I had better write something on my blog or all my readers in blogland are going to give up on me and not comment. So hang in there with me everyone, both family and friends there's always tomorrow!!!! I'm heading to St. George in the morning to clean an oven, stove and microwave in the condo my daughter was living in with her 2 other roommates. The contract is up the end of this month and since Berlynn hasn't lived there since the first of January and the girls moved out this past weekend and cleaned the place so we can get our deposit back, I get to drive some 200 plus miles to do our share of cleaning. They told me that a pizza blew up in the oven and they left that for us to clean. NICE!!!! I am taking my Mom with me and kinda making it a little get away. Now thats what I call exciting!!!! So here's to you Linda!!!!! Happy reading.... LOL... :)

Friday, February 15, 2008

SINGLES AWARENESS DAY

Thats what my daughter thinks of Valentine's Day, "SINGLES AWARENESS DAY". I think I heard that she didn't like Valentines Day quite a few times yesterday. She said that she wanted a boyfriend just for Valentine's Day. She broke up with her boyfriend 4 months ago, so I'm sure yesterday was a hard day but we tried to make it special for her. She did have a date last night so it worked out that she didn't have to hang with her parents. Heaven forbid!! One day it will be all of you guys turn to deal with teenagers if you haven't already!!!! ITS COMIN......

We celebrated our 23rd Wedding Anniversary last Saturday, Feb. 9th. Yip, we are OLD folk. We decided last night over dinner we should have just got married on Valentine's Day then we could kill two birds with one stone. But our Anniversary is much more special than Valentine's Day.

Last Saturday, Berlynn signed with CSN to play softball in the fall. We thought she was finished with softball but the coach from CSN called and really wanted her to play for them and wanted to get her signed right away. Full ride. Can't beat a free education. We are excited for her and proud of her and her accomplishments.

Adisynn has been sick this past week. Kept her home from preschool on Tuesday. The other day while I was on the phone she carried a tall bar stool down the stairs. Now this stool is almost as tall as she is. She carried it to the front door and managed to get all the locks unlock and her and the dog walked over to my parents house, 2 houses down from us. She was barefoot and looked like hell and she barely had a voice. She told my Mom that she didn't have any breakfast or lunch and that we didn't have any food in the house and she was hungry and wanted some soup!!!! This child is going to be the death of me. We should of had Adisynn when we were younger and Berlynn now that we are older. We have 15 more fabulous years ahead of us. My husband says he's not going to be around that long and thinks for sure he will kick the bucket by then. Better not..... But, we are grateful and blessed. I need to get my camera out and start taking some pictures. I think it makes the posts more interesting when there are pictures. Don't you????

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A WOMEN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 32 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess--with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

TUESDAY:
I drank a whole 6- pack of diet coke, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurts when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the HELL would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half and hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the bathroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine--which I sank.

FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want any dents in the floor, don't hand me the damned barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:
I'm having the church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun--like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS TOO FUNNY AND JUST HAD TO POST IT. I GOT A GOOD LAUGH OUT OF IT. ANYONE WHO HAS EVER ATTEMPTED TO GET INTO A REGULAR WORKOUT ROUTINE CAN APPRECIATE THIS!! p.s. sorry for the swear words. I figure not too many people will read this anyway. :)